JESUS OF SURBURBIA, GREENDAY (:
i'm addicted to that song now, it keeps playing over.
like WHOA ;D
I'm the son of rage and love
The Jesus of suburbia
From the bible of none of the above
On a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin
No one ever died for my sins in hell
As far as I can tell
At least the ones I got away with
And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me
Get my television fix sitting on my crucifix
The living room or my private womb
While the moms and brads are away
To fall in love and fall in debt
To alcohol and cigarettes and Mary Jane
To keep me insane and doing someone else's cocaine
And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me
At the center of the Earth
In the parking lot
Of the 7-11 were I was taught
The motto was just a lie
It says home is where your heart is
But what a shame
Cause everyone's heart
Doesn't beat the same
It's beating out of time
City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care
I read the graffiti
In the bathroom stall
Like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
And so it seemed to confess
It didn't say much
But it only confirmed that
The center of the earth
Is the end of the world
And I could really care less
City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care
I don't care
Everyone is so full of shit
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the middle east
We are the stories and disciples
Of the Jesus of suburbia
Land of make believe
And it don't believe in me
Land of make believe
And I don't believe
And I don't care!
I don't care!
I don't care!
I don't care!
I don't care!
Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse
To live and not to breathe
Is to die In tragedy
To run, to run away
To find what you believe
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
I lost my faith to this
This town that don't exist
So I run
I run away
To the light of masochist
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
And I walked this line
A million and one fucking times
But not this time
I don't feel any shame
I won't apologize
When there ain't nowhere you can go
Running away from pain
When you've been victimized
Tales from another broken home
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
Ah you're leaving home...
& who ever asked, what do you think? am I bung?
pffffts, are you blind? i guess so.
anyway,
short hair doesn't mean i'm bung, if it means that, you can go & call everyone else with short hair bung, INCLUDING MY BROTHERS. so no, stupid question.
i don't think i can go with you two bowling, sorry! perhaps next time okay? i'm currently err- BROKE. haha.
anyway, have fun, if you two are going. (:
You can't lie to a liar, because of all the lies
Monday, November 28, 2005
i'll wait for the good lord to make me feel better.
NEW EMAIL.
mj@existcomputers.com
And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on
How I feel about you, yeah.
Take your sweet, sweet time
I will be here when you change your mind
played SIMS2 today. funn (:
listening o jesse mccartney's whole ablum, loving it loads (:
i hope he releases another ablum soon. XD
just watched come together the music video, about hurricane katrina & the all-star song. its beautifully broken.
I LOVE THE CHOURS ;D
PLEASE, JMAC. (:
LOVE LOVE LOVE.
I turn around, you're there again
And suddenly you're gone
I wanna get to know you
But I don't know who you are
You're the kinda girl
Who'll make me start to lose my mind
I wanna get together
But you're oh, so hard to find
I see you when I'm at the Starbucks
As you're walkin' out the door
I see you when I'm renting movies
When you're leaving the store
I need an oppurtunity
There's something I want to ask
I never seem to ever get the chance
What's your name
Oh, I really wanna know
You've got me goin' crazy
And I want you more and more
Oh hey, this could be something real
I've gotta let you know the way I feel
What's your name
Oh, I really wanna know
Cause every time I get there
That it's right before you go
Oh hey, if only you could see
I wanna get to know you
And to get you knowing me
Whoa
I see you at the mall
You're hangin' out with all your friends
I'm ready, gonna make my move
You go before I get the chance
You know you got me trippin'
Thinkin' 'bout you day and night
But I can't get to know you
If you don't know I'm alive
I see you when you're at the beach
You know, you're loading up the car
I see you when I'm at the concert
Then the lights go dark
There's something I've gotta find out
If I ever get the chance
There's only three words I wanna ask
What's your name
Oh, I really wanna know
You got me going crazy
And I want you more and more
Oh hey, this could be something real
I've gotta let you know the way I feel
What's your name
Oh, I really wanna know
Cause everytime I get there
But it's right before you go
Oh hey, if only you could see
I wanna get to know you
And to get you knowing me
Oh, oh yeah, no, no, no, no
Oh, now wait up
Oh no, don't go away now
Too late, I missed your name girl
Oh no, don't go please
Cause I'm the one you need
Oh no, don't go
I've got to tell you
How bad I want ya
All I need is a chance
So give me an opportunity to ask
What's your name, girl
Oooh, oooh yeah
Woo, that's it
Ladies goodnight
Sunday, November 27, 2005
MY POSTS ARE GONE.
did i even post at all?
on saturday & sunday.
i remember posting something other than what there already is.
:/ oh well. i'm growing OLD.
&, the sims 2 is a DIRTY DIRTY game.
acutally its the PLAYER ;D
hahahahahhahaahaha.
lyannne. where are you?
I WANT THE SONG. -whines.
haha, sorry. i'm being WANTY today.
i am a want-want kid!
mr seow was in my church today, HIS CHILDREN ARE CUTE. haha. can i pinch their cheeks? i think hr seow will just kill me if i did la.
anyway, was supposed to go praise, but i went lunch instead. SORRY. :/ i didn't wanna go anyway. so yeah.
& if i don't reply you on msn, that means i'm NOT AT THE COMPUTER.
sorry la, its just that- the computer wasn't off, thats why i was online for two days or something ?!
Friday, November 25, 2005
jesus of suburbia is rocking, you just don't appreciate good music.
GREENDAY ;D
i love greenday, kill me for that if you say its a crime.
i hate simon cowell, he shouldn't just kill the dream :/
THE DREAM. those kids really wanted to be someone someday.
they never made it, they were on the verge of a breakthrough, then you just cut them off.
I MISS THEM OKAY.
stupid stupid stupid.
i'm using don't know who's laptop right now, & sometimes it types a certian key by itself, & i can't use that key. the right key & that colen key ain't working. no smilies. i don't wanna type already, not fun.
There's no wonder why
Thursday, November 24, 2005
i found some buble thingy on my finger. & i burst it. now it hurts. it runs in the family okay! we don't like when there's a buble thingy on us. we'll PICK AT IT. wahaha, sounds wrong la, but yeah. i hope my video gets sent to me soon (:
SORRY FOR ALL THE TROUBLE I CAUSED. XD
but thanks anyway, again.
i hope you download the correct one, or you can download err- BOTH for me. (: HAHAHA.
i've seen about half of both so far, waiting to see the other half.
i hope i go away, i hope i don't.
i'm stuck at home today, played the sims. i made mj a FRESHMAN, she's no longer a JUNIOR ;D haha, plus, she got the dean for both her exams & A*s. the next six exams or so will definately be the same. woohoo. oh &, btw, i was talking about my sim. HAHAHAHA.
i don't feel full. thats bad, i want CHOCS. (: please buy me some. & i'll give you something in return. but you won't buy it for me. so yeah :/ GRRRRRL. november chopin is quite a nice ablum. GO JAY (:
i'm SORRY okay. i really hope you will read it someday. :/ didn't mean to get you irritated or angry. i know you miss her, but yeah. life is still moving on.
I HATE SAYING SORRY. I HATE SAYING SORRY, I STILL HATE SAYING SORRY.
which reminds me, where's my knife?
i won't forget that line-
i remember the time we tried to stop you, & when you fought back.
i'm glad it's over. i'm glad.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
i shall finally post a long long post here today, & i don't want to update for the rest of today, its just ticking & i've been thinking for awhile now. not very long, but long enough to say or do something. my computer refuses to let me view the entire jesse mccartney video, & i'm getting really upset. ): plus, i really wanted to talk to you today PINEAPPLE. i don't acutally like you at all la, its not even infatuation, its just. your nice okay. joachim, i can't tell you why. its half embarrassing & half i don't want you to know. i'm sorry. i'm being selfish but- i can't help it. you indirectly will know if i told you. I can't just tell you now, you'll have to wait, long. i'll wait to tell you too okay? :/ until then, sorry. really really sorry. i feel like crying. again :/
same thing that happened in church. where's saint anger when you need him? now the st theresa midnight thing at camp, in st berns, i've been keeping it bottled up. i can't anymore. i nearly cried. when i thought of the two of you. i was angry then, & i still couldn't understand. i don't think i ever will.
i love them both. plus the other two too. still
oh yes, & i do socialize in church. stupid la, say i never socialize. box YOUR face too. XD
i shall not hate her, with or without you. this is for mr wong, not my cousin, the other one.
i feel wierd, i just read 28's blog. it feels wierd. RAHHH. i don't know why i suddenly went to read la, i'm just. feeling wierd ): when i read it, it just feels wierd. i don't like that feeling. its like noone understands that feeling. grrrrrrl. i hope i can meet lil one in town soon before she goes off. if, she is going off, that is.
& long as skies are blur, i'll be drawn to you (:
i forgot what i wanted to say :/
MY COMPUTER IS LAGGING.
stop being irritating computer, & let me find my jesse mccartney video. I REALLY REALLY WANNA WATCHJ IT OKAY. happy now?
i'm irritated. the person i want to talk to isn't online & i haven't been able to talk to that person all day. & you can try to figure out who that is for all i care, BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU. & noone knows. so yes, happy finding out. stupid idiot. :/ i shall call you. PINEAPPLE. i've got a crush on you ;D acutally its infatuation. :/
ate two & a half sausages this morning. it was pretty spicy. there's still one more sausage left. I WANT IT. XD with lots & lots of tabasco sauce please. anyway, went to watch harry potter with cheng & des. it was kinda boring- the show. i expected better. but still, it was worth my seven bucks. too many people in town, should never go there anymore. BWAHAHA.
i'm missing charissa. poor five.
i shall finally post a long long post here today, & i don't want to update for the rest of today, its just ticking & i've been thinking for awhile now. not very long, but long enough to say or do something. my computer refuses to let me view the entire jesse mccartney video, & i'm getting really upset. ): plus, i really wanted to talk to you today PINEAPPLE. i don't acutally like you at all la, its not even infatuation, its just. your nice okay. joachim, i can't tell you why. its half embarrassing & half i don't want you to know. i'm sorry. i'm being selfish but- i can't help it. you indirectly will know if i told you. I can't just tell you now, you'll have to wait, long. i'll wait to tell you too okay? :/ until then, sorry. really really sorry. i feel like crying. again :/
same thing that happened in church. where's saint anger when you need him? now the st theresa midnight thing at camp, in st berns, i've been keeping it bottled up. i can't anymore. i nearly cried. when i thought of the two of you. i was angry then, & i still couldn't understand. i don't think i ever will.
i love them both. plus the other two too.
tell me one more time, why your heart cannot be mine. look into my eyes & say the love has gone & i'll be man enough to walk away.
There's no wonder why
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
i'm just waiting for tomorrow. i don't know if we're watching harry potty. i don't wanna :/ i think i wanna pangsei. i don't know. its like- i don't know who's confirmed coming yet. i haven't confirmed i'm going RAHHH. i want to change the font. DEIDRE. three saint deidre, my class next year. can i not go, please. perhaps i'll meet pm tomorrow.
There's no wonder why
i will runaway, i won't hide.
i will tell you the truth, or at least try to.
to the middle or nowhere.
there i will stay
hoping you won't see me this way.
:/
I WISH I COULDA.
then i woulda still love-
okay, we're all good now.
bye bye charissa :/
i'll miss you too.
photobucket isn't working :/
i've gotta wait.
in the meantime, my photo will be taken off.
go ahead & bother. its not like i care anyway.
i shouldn't have even bothered going to camp.
i should had just stayed home the last day.
& no, its not just about today.
its about what you TOLD me before.
you wouldn't this.
you left bad because.
WHATEVER.
thank you for the lies, yes (:
Monday, November 21, 2005
CAMP.
day 1.
met RB, walked to church & checked in. put our bags upstairs & waited for the other campers/facilitators to arrive. fer & i had gastric, everyone went downstairs to eat. rgb slept right at the opening between the girl/boy's dorm. before that, walked around with jerry, gerard & charissa.
day 2.
met some of the day campers. went to labrador park. played captian's ball & spies & smugglers against group one. didn't get to play spiderweb :/ four people got injured from my group. ate pasta or lunch. shared with joachim the extra. the kids had some sharing, facilitators were free & talking. they took photos, but i didn't wanna take. i just didn't feel like it. :/ went back to church.
i refuse to say anything else.
i don't want to remember this camp very much :/
Friday, November 18, 2005
leaving for camp tonight. i'll be back on sunday night & then monday i'm going back, & it ends at night.
have you ever wondered why i gave three wishes to you?
Thursday, November 17, 2005
had the church meeting yesterday.
IT WAS DAMN FUNY. please (:
stupid, funny things happened.
but i shall not say anything.
because i don't wanna remember the night, it wasn't that great, but everyone was in a great mood. & ralph said something- then _ started talking. -.- RAHHH. had to spoil my mood. :/ but it was perked up later again anyway. I BET THEY WERE ALL JEALOUS. ;D
went to gwc to meet RB. (:
saw jessica. SURPRISE.
then went to meet with des, rena & shah. watched the excorcism of emily rose, i didn't watch it like- at all. i nearly fell asleep, then rena SPOKE. it's a scary show, but somehow i still managed to be so sleepy. i only watched let say 15mins of it. & i paid $7. HAHAHAHA. i won't do that again- ever. rena is so immune to horror shows :/
went home.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
i'm bored, its raining, MUST I GO? :/
that one they talk about.
MARIANNE JEANNE HENDRICKS.ONE SAINT CLARE
TWO SAINT CLARE
COMBINATION 3.1
CORE GEOG, SSL.
BIO, E(CHEM/PHY)
SAINT THERESA'S CONVENT
sweet temptations
COOKIES
M&MS
MARS BARS
ROCKY ROAD
SWEETS ;D
nasty imps
BITTER GOURD
STENCHES
cravings
MORE LATE NIGHT MOVIES ;D
abhors
STAYING HOME ALONE.
going
CHURCH ;D MEETING.
SNOW CITY ON THURS
HARRYPOTTER ON FRI? :/
CAMP ON FRI
i'll won't be here forever you know.
i'm only but huaman.
i remember laughing at your every word, but now it seems like forever since i've done that. you've got me hooked onto you.
There's no wonder why
currently, addicted to do you remember by aaron carter. its so sweet (:
anyway, i finally did charissa's sentosa picture. submitted it to her friendster, i don't know where she is. she disappeared on msn. :/
DO YOU REMEMBER WHY I WALKED ON WATER FOR YOU
DO YOU REMEMBER MY FIRST STEPS ON THE MOON
HAVE YOU WONDERED WHY I GAVE THREE WISHES TO YOU
YOU ASKED A QUESTION BUT THE ANSWER LIES IN YOU
sweet & addictive.
meeting later :/
kinda sad now, i really wanna go take clb.
Tell me one more time, why your heart cannot be mine. look into my eyes & say that love has gone & i'll be man enough to walk away. Tell me one more time, why your dreams cannot be mine Because i won't believe its true, until i hear it from you.
& meanwhile i'll be here, and i'll pray to God above. That someday you might learn again, it's you i'm dreaming of. & meanwhile i'll be here, and i'll pray to God above, that someday you might turn again to me. Your one & ever love.
i'll miss that girl, she brought the happiness into my life when it was only a lie.
later going to the school bookshop to buy my WORKBOOKS. then jonathan is fetching me home. ;D
going to church at seven for the meeting, planning to bring camera & take photos. i think, or i'll just use charissa's camera.
tomorrow, SNOW CITY! (:
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
snow citying on thursday, i think i prefer to go for the last session of the day. (: i think the last person i'll ask grace in the end yeah, i don't know who to ask. have to double confirm with rena & desiree. then i'll ask grace, cos desiree's watching harry potter earlier in the day & late the previous night. and rena's coming back on wednesday.
at the most, i'll go with red. yeah? :/ i don't know. planning stuff is irritating. so are people when they force you to comply. sorry i didn't wanna go out today ): i slept two plus hours in the afternoon, and i'm still sleepy. but the thing is, i slept eight hours plus last night. grrrrrl.
some of my special ones (:
CHAN JESSICA, thanks for being there even through the downs, i appreciate it (: & thanks for always talking to me on msn.
CHANG GRACE, thanks for following me down to the general office when i had the sore eye, & thanks for coming to snow city.
CHUA LYANNE, thank you for talking to me, even though i'm irritating. HEHH. & thanks for playing all those games with me.
CHUA KIMBERLY, lil one! thanks for those days when somethings went wrong for me, for just being there. & helping me through it all. & for coming to my church.
CHUA DESIREE, thanks for sticking with me during the efl nightwalk. & thanks for all those words of encouragement & jokes plus laughter. & for letting me irritate you.
FENG CHENG CHENG, thanks for being there, & helping me out through my downs, & for coming to my church plus now city.
LEE RENA, thanks for that night you helped me through it all, for coming to my church, & for all the crappy times i ghad with you. my fiend, always.
MOK NICOLE, i'm going to miss sitting next to you during chinese lessons & making you eat, irritating you. sorry & thank you (:
girl,
thats why i woulda walk on water for you.
thats why i gave you three wishes
thats why i remember those nights,
because you were there.
<3
Monday, November 14, 2005
snow city on thursday, wednesday or BOTH? i can't make up my mind. more make up please ;D
There's no wonder why
got picked up at eight fourty am.
sent to the kk women's & children's hospital.
together with red & blue.
waiting outside with blue.
while red took the stitches out.
played the car game.
won twice with the red car.
the blue car is hard to move.
then the red car got stuck.
even blue had a hard time moving it outta there.
followed blue out to get drinks.
later tried to get coke with extra milk,
but the machine dosen't work that way.
then took a bus to little india, took the mrt.
reached habour
they told me something. & i freaked. real bad okay.
i got so freaked, i wanted to runaway from them & disacknowledge them. but they wouldn't let me go away.
so yeah, ended up eating pastamania.
blue's shoe size are double mine !!! haha.
red's are only one or two sizes larger.
ate at pastamania,
they ate, i ate the cheese, they took it away from me because they complained i ate too much cheese !!! RAHH.
they're nice la. haha. followed me to the school, they went off.
accompanied shah to town, went home.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
charissa is CHORLOR.
very very very. i told you.
today was a fun day.
schedule.
mass
cath
lunch
home
gwc
home
dvd/vcd movie?
msg
sleep.
tomorrow,
hospital
school.
i can't wait. (:
it was the last day of cath, took class photos. w/o germaine & fersoh. they didn't come. fer was on OBS. germaine? i don't know. took lots of other photos too. really fun. annelui bought some cake, jelly & chocs. i took one green jelly. charissa took the other one. it was cute. (:
went to gwc with RGB. aka BGR. haha. the fiveightnine gang la. GANG! (: lotsa hugs. & running aways. ate mcs, played timezone. had fun. ;D they sent me home. again (: <3<3<3 & there's lotsa photos too.
getting to know what class i'm in tomorrow.
omg omg omg.
i hope i get into the 3.1 combination
otherwise.
:/ NERVOUS. hahaha
might be watching late night vcd/dvd like last night. last night watched the last ride, pretty alright. the ending wasn't so nice though, low-key. but hey, i woulda given it a 2.3 outta 5. tonight may be watching some other show, i don't know whats it called, but its from VIDEO-EZ. messaging des at night, as planned. we sorta planned it la, quite fun okay. hahaa. we talk NONSENSE i tell you. my hone bill is going to BURST soon. please.
i'll update TOMORROW (:
then you'll know how the hospital & school stuff went.
NERVOUS NERVOUS NERVOUS.
& chinese homework :/
Saturday, November 12, 2005
infallible, flirting with ice says:
my hair-
infallible, flirting with ice says:
SHRUNK.
_charissa; you. says:
u cut it?
_charissa; you. says:
MONKEY
infallible, flirting with ice says:
NO !
infallible, flirting with ice says:
it SHRUNK.
infallible, flirting with ice says:
it laughed.
infallible, flirting with ice says:
its funny.
infallible, flirting with ice says:
(:
typical conversation between charianne.
w/o the tan. not suntan, but the surname.
i can't believe you two, red & blue.
LET ME BE GREEN.
WE'LL COMPLETE THE RGB!
nonsense. ;D
i don't wanna close my eyes.
i don't wana fall asleep
because i miss you babe
& i don't wanna miss a thing.
because even when i dream again
the sweetest dream will never do
becuase i miss you babe
& i don't wnna miss a thing.
that song is so sweet. (:
MEMORIES ! haha.
last night messaged until one plus.
messaging with des.
I SLEPT EARLY OKAY. HA.
one plus. hahaha.
not like you, still, wanna listen to radio.
so how? managed to get the tickets?
i think friday rocks too (:
Thursday, November 10, 2005
went out with shah today.
borrowed SIX books.
carried them around the WHOLE day.
rahh! which was stupid.
then we walked around taka & wisma, finding the macs.
but, FAILED!
haha, then walked one whole round.
when suddenly this guy came up to talk to us.
shahilia happily stood there & talked back.
lets see some of the conversation (:
ITS HILARIOUS.
guy: hello, are you from singapore.
shah: no?!
guy: oh, okay. then were are you from?
shah: (looks at me) LONDON.
guy: wow, what a nice place.... (blahs)
(stares exchanged between shah & i)
guy: may i have your name & contact number?
shah: G-
(guy writes down j. wierdo)
shah: (trying not to laugh) I-N-N-Y. (makes up some random number)
guy: jinny. okay, whats yours?
me: sorry, i don't have any number here, but you can contact me through her.
guy: (gives us imodelinternational card) thank you for your time, bye.
BWAHAHAHA.
WE WALKED OFF LAUGHING & TALKING ABOUT IT AT THE TOP OF OUR VOICES.
thats why we are in eldds.
WE CAN ACT ;D
beware. haha.
we went wisma & finally ate macs (:
wanted zhihui to come with us to gwc,
but i don't know what happened in the process.
so shah & i walked to FIND THE BUSSTOP.
but- the busstop was very very far away.
so yeah. cabbed to gwc. $2.70
it was so near okay! it was only a turn away.
but if we walked- it woulda been fifteen minutes or so.
then played ddr & drums.
my god, we're so shitty please.
we SUCK. hahaha.
shah sucks more than me though.
hoho. (:
anyway,
read one book.
four other books read like first twenty pages.
HAHA.
have fun.
(: F U N.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
i was browsing through friendster.
so i decided to look at your profile.
since when i clicked something, i saw your name.
i viewed your friends.
saw their pictures with you.
now i can't stop thinking about you. ):
200205.
i miss you.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
whoever asked i don't understand this tagboard,
THERE'S NOTHING TO UNDERSTAND.
ITS NOT A TAGBOARD. (:
Sunday, November 06, 2005
went to church, cheng left last night):
so yeah sat with alyssa. something i haven't done in a long long time.
five & nine were infront of me.
we discussed about going gwc.
so yeah, after class, went gwc.
ate at promodino? spelling error.
haha, i don't know how to spell okay.
it was so sick. heehee.
walked around a little.
sent me home (:
end of story.
oh yeah, there's this thing.
which says:
HELLO, I LOVE YOU. NOW YOU KNOW.
then those two wrote:
I LOVE YOU TOO & ME 3.
so cute. hahaha.
PHOTOS PLEASE.
photoshopping time ;D
Saturday, November 05, 2005
hello rena.
HAHAHAHA
if you were NEVERGONE. would i be able to keep you?
i can't stop thinking about the two of you. especially.
i hope you don't mind that i put down in words.
i love you, as a really good friend. ALWAYS(:
i think i'll come tomorrow.
i've changed my mind.
it dosen't bother me anymore.
thanks rena for talking to me last night (:
the channel changed, some family christmas show was on. & i couldn't hold back my tears. why can't MY family be like that one on tv.
but one thing i know, this year i will be home for christmas (:
i wish upon a star
not just wondering where you are
but knowing.
i'll be yours, truely.
i wish i could tell you, i really would. but i have to keep some things to myself, its too painful to share it once more.
There's no wonder why
Friday, November 04, 2005
give me a break, hack into my account. i say hello (: i don't care anymore. i'm thinking of removing the password. i don't even wanna go on sunday. tell me what's not wrong then? i never felt like this before. i screwed la, real bad. sorry ):
We're the best of friends
And we share our secrets
She knows everything
That is on my mind
Maybe, something's changed
As I lie awake in my bed
A voice here inside my head
Softly says
Why don't you kiss her
Why don't you tell her
Why don't you let her see
The feelings that you hide
Cause she'll never know
If you never show
The way you feel inside
Oh, I'm so afraid
To make that first move
Just a touch and we
Could cross the line
And everytime she's near
I wanna never let her go
Confess to her what my heart knows
Hold her close
What would she say
I wonder, would she just turn away
Or would she promise me
That she's here to stay
It hurts me to wait
I keep asking myself
Why don't you kiss her /tell her you love her
Why don't you tell her /tell her you need her
Why don't you let her see
The feelings that you hide
Cause she'll never know
If you never show
The way you feel inside
give me the combinations 3.1 & 3.2. get someone to called and offer me combi 2. make me reject that offer.
its so screwed. i don't know what/why i did that. but i really wana go 3.1 because 2 has to PHY/BIO. only sjc has PHY/BIO. like you woulda transfer me. ): pray.
damn you.
screw it ):
i'm so confused, i can't tell apart left from right. how i wish you were here ):
There's no wonder why
i got offered combi 2.
ms wong just called me, but i didn't take it.
sorry, i hate chem.
F___, i'm sorry.
I really can't tell you what. You know, stop guessing, its wrong. Its got nothing to do. I don't know if i will be able to face you the next class. We'll clear things out on monday alright. You know i won't do anything like that. I'm just sorry.
I never go this irritated or pestered you this much when you lied. I won't forget what happened, but i forgive you. I'm sorry. ):
S___, i'm sorry too.
I'm sorry i didn't tell you everything. I'm sorry i kept you in the dark. There are some things i can't let you know- yet. You will find out in due time. Then you wouldn't be calling them what they are now.
whatever i said is infallible. Its up to you to decide. ):
as sean said; you'll take the joy, i'll take the pain.
went to school early in the morning.
printed out 60 copies of each brochure, which makes the total 120.
FOLDED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM BY HAND.
we somehow managed to do it.
blangh rise pri is bloody guai. no noise AT ALL PLEASE.
too guai. chatted with the teachers in the bus, they were quite funny la. Then brought them around the school.
THEN I SAW DANIELLE ANASTASIA HENDRICKS (:
jessica & elvira clamied that she looked like me.
NOOOOOO!
cheng thought otherwise (: THANKYOU.
then went home with jess, changed then went gwc, cos des & her friend was there to play arcade.
played arcade awhile, ate ben & jerry's. met des & her friend again. they left.
walked around, tried on clothes. left.
jessica's on her way home now,
cheng's leaving tonight ):
Thursday, November 03, 2005
All she ever said was a hello. bound by her insercurities, challenged by the world. Noone really knew her that deep. Nothing touched her beyond skin. All the lies and past gaiety, remembered as trashy thoughts. It was only a few days more, a few days till her release. A few days to plan her escape. She ignored the summer heat, drawing the blankets close to her. She was shivering. She had killed him.
fiction.
i found a nice one. again (:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/804710/1/
only if i could have take a picture back then, it would last longer.
you already know my dirty little secret.
the night, we had fun
getting high over nothings
we made our escapade
but it was only greyscale.
kayden(hayden,sean) rena.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
saw anabelle in church yesterday.
went to school at nine in the morning,
came back at four (:
& a voice inside my head, softly said: why don't you kiss her?
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
tomorrow there's school.
NOOOOO. ):
assholes.
CAN'T BLOODY LET ME WATCH MY SHOW IN PEACE.
FINE, YOU CAN FUCKING WATCH IT YOURSELF.
& YOU CALL YOURSELF A MOTHER.
when the tears stream
down your face
i won't say a word.
i promise
but i will be there
even if it is
the middle of the night
halfway during my camp
or even at 3am.
I WILL BE THERE.
on monday.
i went to school around 0955 to hand in the form. the deadline was at 1000. but it was raining heavily. so i decided to go around the closing time with rebecca. then rebecca went off to xuewen's house. saw rena, shah, char & zhihui at the steps. talked to them. then me, char, shah & rena went town. zhihui went off to ps with her friend.
took neos with them. rena lent me $10. thanks (: i have to return it to her wed or fri. i'm going to miss her once we split class ): then we went to eat long johns. combo a. then i realised that the seats behind mine, were taken up by three guys. two def from sji & i knew one of them. charissa couldn't confirm it though. & rena knew ALL of them. so we talked & ate. it kept reminding me of the day a whole bunch of us just sat there & talked about everyone and everything. i won't forget these days. ever.
then charlene went to rena's house. cheng went there. shah stayed behind with me to wait for charissa. (: thanks.
then charissa came, saw shah off.
CHARIANNE (:
so i followed her to buy her cds & we walked around the place looking at clothes. saw a pretty GREEN dress. (:
then went to my mom's office with her.
played at the arcade there awhile then was chased out. haha. i was in school uniform okay. then decided to go ddr after this. so i asked five if he wanted to come. then was talking to five on the phone. charissa couldn' hear what i said. so she called me & the three of us confrenced. (:
it was really funny. you could hear the echo of each other's voice. i wanna do that again.
so we made our way down to tiong & met five there.
then went to my house. five stayed downstairs and waited for us. i changed.
played at the arcade, drank ice lemon tea.
then they sent me home (: hugs included.
i love them la. haha. thanks for sending me home yeah. (:
